Sabotage

Well, I have some good, some bad and some ugly news divas & gentlemen. The bad news is that I have disappointed both myself and my one comment-leaving reader, Marilee (thank you for leaving a comment by the way, it has contributed to me coming back to try again!). I'm afraid I have disappointed us by allowing my life style to sabotage my diet attempt.

Unfortunately, for the past month I have been on an evil shift where I have needed to wake up at 6am and immediately leave the house for work, leaving no time to have breakfast or prepare a lunch. Where I work, the most conveniently located food outlet is unfortunately a McDonalds (or Death as we lovingly refer to it) next door, with all other lunch options being a good 15 to 20 minute walk (both ways) which means I lose most of my lunch hour to travel.

Whilst this a very weak sabotage as that 15 to 20 minutes walk would have been a great exercise opportunity, I could have prepared my lunch the evening before, etc, it appears it was a sabotage that succeeded nonetheless.

They say it takes a month to kick a habit and in my experience this is true. In previous diets where I have successfully got off the ground and stuck to the plan, I have found after the first month eating habits have changed and it suddenly gets easier. This leads me on to the good news.

Starting today I am on Night Shift for 4 weeks. Whilst on Night Shift, I will have no access to anywhere that sells food because it will all be closed at 4am and as such I will have to prepare my own lunches and take them to work whether I like it or not.

So, let's do it. Tonight will be a tad difficult because I've been awake all day and now need to be awake all night (I'm not very good at the shift change-over process), as such I will pretty much need to inject caffeine to continue functioning, however after tonight I should have adjusted my body clock and be ready to rock.

Night Shift also means I have a lot of time to waste online and as such, maintaining a blog like this should be a pleasant task and will further reinforce my motivation to succeed.

My initial eating plan is something like 2 slices of toast for breakfast, a healthy lunch (2 sandwiches and some fruit, through lack of cooking equipment at work) and I haven't quite considered dinner yet as I'm not sure what I'll want to eat at 9am after being awake 15 hours, I may just want to pass out in bed, we shall see!

So, let's start again and pretend the last month didn't happen. I have a guest visiting me in 6 weeks and I would like to make as much progress as possible between now and then, time to do it properly.

New starting weight: 125kg (the ugly news).

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Welcome to the pit

Ladies, gentlemen & divas,

I am in the pit. Oh yes. That pit. The fat pit. Some of you may already have heard that French women don't get fat. After living in Paris (or just outside of Paris at least however after socialising in Paris) for 6 months now, I can confirm this is no lie - French women don't get fat.

Guess what? French men don't get fat either. No-one gets fat. I truly do believe the government has some sort of scheme whereby if a fat person walks into a doctors office, perhaps to discuss their weight or weight-related illness, they shortly after are cut up and fed to those that are so thin they are almost dead to keep balancing this country-wide phenomenon.

This presents quite a large issue for me, because, ladies, gentlemen & divas, I am fat.

This is one of the two major hurdles I must leap over in order to continue life in France without finally giving up and volunteering myself to be fed to the malnourished, the second hurdle is of course that I don't speak French, and believe me, this pleases the French to no end.

I have decided in a Bridget Jones moment of madness to take control of my life and start a diary so that this time next year I won't be sitting here shit-faced listening to sad FM, easy listening for the over 30's. This is my diary and I invite you to share the experience with me. This is an anonymous diary and this is to ensure that I tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, warts and all.

Hold on girls, this is going to be vile.

Current weight... 121kg.

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